We had a nice three day weekend. Friday, we went up to Colorado Springs to take my car for its maintenance to the Sa.turn dealership since the one here in town closed. We then headed up the hill to Cripple Creek to try our hands at the higher stakes and new games, Roulette and Craps. I still played the penny slots, but Hubby played the Roulette and three card poker. I ended up spending only about $90 for the day, which isn't too bad.
Saturday, we went over to Hubby's aunt and uncle's house for lunch. Then we came back to our house where we catered for my family. Two nice meals in one day. We shot off fireworks without having to worry about anything catching on fire since it had rained most of the day.
Sunday we went to the reservoir to celebrate Hubby's niece's 17th birthday. We were only there an hour before the heavy rainstorm drove everyone away. Which was good, because I couldn't handle watching the two-week old infant being passed around to everyone. One lady (the grandma I think) asked me if I wanted to see the baby. I tried to say no, something about it sleeping, but she still got the kid up to show off. Thank God she didn't ask if I wanted to hold him.
We saw some white tail deer last evening when we headed out to see Hubby's parents. Normally, mule deer hang out in this area of the state, so it was a treat to see the white tails. Three bucks and one doe.
I got good news today. I'm getting most of what I paid to my RE back because my insurance ended up covering more than I thought it would. My credit card will appreciate that.
Showing posts with label Conceptions. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Conceptions. Show all posts
Monday, July 6, 2009
Sunday, June 14, 2009
The pain became physical
After my last PIO shot on Wednesday, the nurse said it would take a few days for AF to show up. I thought she did yesterday, but that was just a tease. Today she reared her ugly head and made the pain of the BFN physical, not just mental.
Despite having taken 3 extra strength Tyl.enol and 3 ibuprofens, the cramps are horrid. I'm assuming I have a great lining that needs shedding, therefore the cramps to rid my uterus of that wasted lining.
I cried again pretty good today, this time at church. Hubby stood up during prayer requests, to not only give an update, but to ask for continued prayer. The tears started flowing then, but then the pastor had everyone come around me during the prayer to pray for us, and one lady got me in a bear hug, and I just lost it and started sobbing. I know that all of this falls under God's will, but it doesn't make it any easier to bear. The questions are there. Are we not good enough? What have we done wrong? Are we being punished? Tested? Or is it just not the right time yet? All these questions and no answers.
Dr. S called me yesterday morning to express his dismay that the cycle didn't work and to ask if we have thought of what we might like to do next. I ran something by him that we have been thinking about, but it really isn't a feasible solution. Of course, I told him that money was an issue. Even though our insurance covers up to six IVF attempts, it has a lifetime maximum benefit of $10,000, and we only have around $1,100 left. He was a bit dismayed about that, considering $10,000 really doesn't go very far.
So at this point in time, we are still just trying to grieve the failure of this cycle. We really aren't in a position to talk next step, not yet anyway. Until then, we are just coasting.
Despite having taken 3 extra strength Tyl.enol and 3 ibuprofens, the cramps are horrid. I'm assuming I have a great lining that needs shedding, therefore the cramps to rid my uterus of that wasted lining.
I cried again pretty good today, this time at church. Hubby stood up during prayer requests, to not only give an update, but to ask for continued prayer. The tears started flowing then, but then the pastor had everyone come around me during the prayer to pray for us, and one lady got me in a bear hug, and I just lost it and started sobbing. I know that all of this falls under God's will, but it doesn't make it any easier to bear. The questions are there. Are we not good enough? What have we done wrong? Are we being punished? Tested? Or is it just not the right time yet? All these questions and no answers.
Dr. S called me yesterday morning to express his dismay that the cycle didn't work and to ask if we have thought of what we might like to do next. I ran something by him that we have been thinking about, but it really isn't a feasible solution. Of course, I told him that money was an issue. Even though our insurance covers up to six IVF attempts, it has a lifetime maximum benefit of $10,000, and we only have around $1,100 left. He was a bit dismayed about that, considering $10,000 really doesn't go very far.
So at this point in time, we are still just trying to grieve the failure of this cycle. We really aren't in a position to talk next step, not yet anyway. Until then, we are just coasting.
Friday, June 12, 2009
The telling
The down side to telling so many people that your going through IVF is having to tell them it didn't work, then try to get through their pitying looks, their remarks, their hugs, and my tears. It really and truly does suck!
Don't get me wrong, having the support is great, but the emotions are so raw right now that it is so hard to say it didn't work without breaking down. And unfortunately, I told quite a few people at work.
I've actually known since Sunday afternoon that I wasn't pregnant. I took a clear blue easy test after we got back from Snowmass, and when it was negative, I rationalized that it was afternoon pee, so it could be a false negative.
Monday morning, I peed again, but this time using an expired digital exam. It too came up negative, but I again thought, oh, it was expired, it could be a false negative, so Hubby and I decided to just wait until we got the results back from the beta tests before we made anything public.
My RE's practice is to do two beta blood tests, and then tell you the results after the second test, so that they can see if the numbers are doubling or not. Obviously, mine weren't doubling, because even if you double zero, you still get zero. I got the call Wednesday afternoon between breaks in meetings for work. Luckily I was by myself when the call came in, but because I ~ knew ~ already, it wasn't as big of a shock as it could have been. I had already done a lot of crying Monday (thank God I was off work that day). But still, getting news like that with others around would not have been pleasant.
When Hubby and I saw each other that evening, we just went to each other and hugged and cried. What else could we do. We knew with almost certainty that our one and only chance at becoming parents had passed us by. That brass ring, that seemed so close to our finger tips, just whooshed by without our having been able to grab it.
I don't know what we're going to do now. We're still letting it sink in before we make any decisions. I'm sure we'll meet with the RE to do a follow up meeting to discuss the cycle and what our options are. Since money is a huge issue, we may not have any options, unless we start fund raising now. I wonder how many bake sales and car washes it would take to raise about $20,000 for another cycle?
Thank you, each and every one of you, who read my blog, and post your comments of support. Knowing that you have been here with me, throughout this entire journey, has been such comfort to me. I hope that if you are still on your journey, that you are able to get what we've not been able to so far. And if you have decided to take a different route, well, perhaps you can share your new experiences with me, so that we can see what life might be like if we too were to get off this road and go down another.
Don't get me wrong, having the support is great, but the emotions are so raw right now that it is so hard to say it didn't work without breaking down. And unfortunately, I told quite a few people at work.
I've actually known since Sunday afternoon that I wasn't pregnant. I took a clear blue easy test after we got back from Snowmass, and when it was negative, I rationalized that it was afternoon pee, so it could be a false negative.
Monday morning, I peed again, but this time using an expired digital exam. It too came up negative, but I again thought, oh, it was expired, it could be a false negative, so Hubby and I decided to just wait until we got the results back from the beta tests before we made anything public.
My RE's practice is to do two beta blood tests, and then tell you the results after the second test, so that they can see if the numbers are doubling or not. Obviously, mine weren't doubling, because even if you double zero, you still get zero. I got the call Wednesday afternoon between breaks in meetings for work. Luckily I was by myself when the call came in, but because I ~ knew ~ already, it wasn't as big of a shock as it could have been. I had already done a lot of crying Monday (thank God I was off work that day). But still, getting news like that with others around would not have been pleasant.
When Hubby and I saw each other that evening, we just went to each other and hugged and cried. What else could we do. We knew with almost certainty that our one and only chance at becoming parents had passed us by. That brass ring, that seemed so close to our finger tips, just whooshed by without our having been able to grab it.
I don't know what we're going to do now. We're still letting it sink in before we make any decisions. I'm sure we'll meet with the RE to do a follow up meeting to discuss the cycle and what our options are. Since money is a huge issue, we may not have any options, unless we start fund raising now. I wonder how many bake sales and car washes it would take to raise about $20,000 for another cycle?
Thank you, each and every one of you, who read my blog, and post your comments of support. Knowing that you have been here with me, throughout this entire journey, has been such comfort to me. I hope that if you are still on your journey, that you are able to get what we've not been able to so far. And if you have decided to take a different route, well, perhaps you can share your new experiences with me, so that we can see what life might be like if we too were to get off this road and go down another.
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
3 Day Transfer & Protocol Answers
The embryologist called this morning to say that all three embryos are dividing, we have two 3-cells, and one 2-cell. We are on for a 3-day transfer tomorrow. Hubby and I have to make the big decision as to how many to transfer. He's thinking percentages and odds, I'm thinking of avoiding complications of multiples. Hopefully we can come up with a compromise that works all the way around.
A couple commenters asked about the protocol I've been on. I don't know the exact term, as I'm really bad with keeping terms straight, but here are the meds I've been on:
DHEA, 75 mg, since 1/10/09
Bravelle, 300 IU, day 3
Menopur, 300 IU, day 3
Saizen, 0.8 ml, day 3
Ganirelix, 225 IU, day 5
Dexamethasone, day 3
Folic acid, 1 mg, day 1
Multi-vitamin (not prenatal) day 1
Prenatals up to day 1
Since trigger on Friday, I've added:
Medrol, 64 mg (the nastiest tasting pills I've ever taken)
Doxycyclene, 2x day, for 5 days, including day before ER and starting again day after ER
Baby aspirin
Folic acid
Multi-vitamin
PIO, 50 ml in a.m.
HCG booster on 5/26, and 2 other dates I don't have in front of me right now
I hope this helps the other poor responders out there.
A couple commenters asked about the protocol I've been on. I don't know the exact term, as I'm really bad with keeping terms straight, but here are the meds I've been on:
DHEA, 75 mg, since 1/10/09
Bravelle, 300 IU, day 3
Menopur, 300 IU, day 3
Saizen, 0.8 ml, day 3
Ganirelix, 225 IU, day 5
Dexamethasone, day 3
Folic acid, 1 mg, day 1
Multi-vitamin (not prenatal) day 1
Prenatals up to day 1
Since trigger on Friday, I've added:
Medrol, 64 mg (the nastiest tasting pills I've ever taken)
Doxycyclene, 2x day, for 5 days, including day before ER and starting again day after ER
Baby aspirin
Folic acid
Multi-vitamin
PIO, 50 ml in a.m.
HCG booster on 5/26, and 2 other dates I don't have in front of me right now
I hope this helps the other poor responders out there.
Monday, May 25, 2009
100% mature, 100% fertilized
The call came in this morning from S, the embryologist. She first apologized for not being there yesterday, but she was recovering from a head cold and didn't want to take the chance of getting us sick. Which I appreciate.
She said that all three eggs were mature, did they ICSI on them, and all three fertilized! I'm so HAPPY! She said she'd call again tomorrow morning with how they are growing, and to set up the transfer.
Thank you, everyone, for all your well wishes, your good thoughts, your prayers. They are working!
She said that all three eggs were mature, did they ICSI on them, and all three fertilized! I'm so HAPPY! She said she'd call again tomorrow morning with how they are growing, and to set up the transfer.
Thank you, everyone, for all your well wishes, your good thoughts, your prayers. They are working!
Sunday, May 24, 2009
Left ovary was a disappointment
Today went well, for the most part. After I said a last minute prayer asking for calmness, the A guy asked me if I were getting sleepy yet. I said no. He asked me again, and I said a little. Next thing I know, I'm waking up and it's all done.
They were able to retrieve three eggs, which was disappointing to me, since I had at least five good follies going on, with a total of nine follies. It seems that two of the good follies were on my left ovary, which the doctor just couldn't get to. I knew this was a possibility, but it sucks to know that I'm limited to what my right ovary can produce.
Apparently, when they started to drain the first follicle, I must have felt something, because I jerked my leg, and about knocked the poor nurse over. She was being told to do something by the doctor, suck out the follie fluid, or something, and she was trying to, while also trying to put my leg back up. I guess I also was grabbing at the cannula in my nose, though of course, I don't remember this. I guess I'm not that cooperative under sedation.
I do admit to crying some when I came out, mostly because of only getting three eggs. But also because the cramps hurt like a SOB! They brought me some Tylenol, which did kick in after a while. Today's recovery has been pretty good. The ride home was okay as I took my pillow with me and laid my seat back, and slept most of the way. What has been most sore, though, is that each time when I need to pee, my bladder acts like it's over-full, and it hurts. You know, when you've gone to a theater and have just finished watching a 2.5 hour movie after drinking the large soda, because, you know, it's only $0.25 more, and now you have to pee so bad, that it hurts to stand up straight? That kind of hurt. I'm assuming it's all just par for the course.
I do remember when I woke up, looking over in the corner of the room, and seeing Hubby all decked out in his surgical gown, mask and cap. All he needed was a stethoscope around his neck, and he'd be Dr. Hubby.
So I guess while I am disappointed with the results, I am also happy with the results. This was more than my old RE ever was able to get out of me. So that's a definite plus. And assuming that all goes well in the next few days, I will get my chance. And that is all I ever wanted. A chance.
They were able to retrieve three eggs, which was disappointing to me, since I had at least five good follies going on, with a total of nine follies. It seems that two of the good follies were on my left ovary, which the doctor just couldn't get to. I knew this was a possibility, but it sucks to know that I'm limited to what my right ovary can produce.
Apparently, when they started to drain the first follicle, I must have felt something, because I jerked my leg, and about knocked the poor nurse over. She was being told to do something by the doctor, suck out the follie fluid, or something, and she was trying to, while also trying to put my leg back up. I guess I also was grabbing at the cannula in my nose, though of course, I don't remember this. I guess I'm not that cooperative under sedation.
I do admit to crying some when I came out, mostly because of only getting three eggs. But also because the cramps hurt like a SOB! They brought me some Tylenol, which did kick in after a while. Today's recovery has been pretty good. The ride home was okay as I took my pillow with me and laid my seat back, and slept most of the way. What has been most sore, though, is that each time when I need to pee, my bladder acts like it's over-full, and it hurts. You know, when you've gone to a theater and have just finished watching a 2.5 hour movie after drinking the large soda, because, you know, it's only $0.25 more, and now you have to pee so bad, that it hurts to stand up straight? That kind of hurt. I'm assuming it's all just par for the course.
I do remember when I woke up, looking over in the corner of the room, and seeing Hubby all decked out in his surgical gown, mask and cap. All he needed was a stethoscope around his neck, and he'd be Dr. Hubby.
So I guess while I am disappointed with the results, I am also happy with the results. This was more than my old RE ever was able to get out of me. So that's a definite plus. And assuming that all goes well in the next few days, I will get my chance. And that is all I ever wanted. A chance.
Friday, May 22, 2009
Trigger tonight at 8:30!!
Oh my goodness! It's really happening. I'll trigger tonight at 8:30, no more meds except my vitamins and the nexium. Retrieval is Sunday morning at 8:30. Wow! Oh wow!
I'm about to cry I'm so happy! Please say a prayer, cross your fingers, think good thoughts that everything goes well and that my follicles have nice plump juicy mature eggs in them and that they accept Hubby's sperm, and grow!
I'm not sure I know what to do with all this excitement! Maybe I need a few more exclamation points!!!!!!!!!
~~~Let's dance~~~
I'm about to cry I'm so happy! Please say a prayer, cross your fingers, think good thoughts that everything goes well and that my follicles have nice plump juicy mature eggs in them and that they accept Hubby's sperm, and grow!
I'm not sure I know what to do with all this excitement! Maybe I need a few more exclamation points!!!!!!!!!
~~~Let's dance~~~
So tired
What a week it's been. My response to this protocol has been great! As of my u/s this morning, I have 9 follies, but 5 of them are of the right size and will be retrieved. I have to wait for the phone call this afternoon, but most likely we'll be triggering tonight and then have the retrieval on Sunday morning. You have no idea how excited I am. Every time I get a good news phone call from the nurse, I do a little dance and have this great big grin on my face.
The hormones have been good to me this time. I haven't been moody or irritable, except for today, just a bit, but only because I am so tired. Three days in one week of getting up at 5:00 or just before 5:00 is taking its toll on me. I am really looking forward to sleeping in on Monday. I won't have to take any shots that morning, so I won't have to be up early.
You know what's been really weird, and I apologize in advance for the TMI, but I have been getting up almost every night since I've started the stims to pee. I rarely have to do this, but this week it's been consistent. Perhaps my swollen ovaries are pushing on my bladder? I'm not sure.
The one thing I forgot to ask today but I'm sure it'll be fine until Sunday's retrieval is for the nurse to mark on my hips where we'll give the PIO shots. I want to make sure we're doing it in the right area. The nurse did give me some needles that I didn't receive with my pregnyl for the trigger and booster shots. They want those done IM, and the only long needles I have are 22 gauge. She gave me 27 gauge, 1 1/4", so that'll be easier to do.
While Hubby and I are very excited about the upcoming retrieval, it did cause us to cancel some plans we had for Sunday. He was to be present at the baby presentation at church for one of his employee's. I was supposed to be the greeter at church. But I'm totally okay with not doing this and doing the retrieval instead. I think God will forgive me.
The hormones have been good to me this time. I haven't been moody or irritable, except for today, just a bit, but only because I am so tired. Three days in one week of getting up at 5:00 or just before 5:00 is taking its toll on me. I am really looking forward to sleeping in on Monday. I won't have to take any shots that morning, so I won't have to be up early.
You know what's been really weird, and I apologize in advance for the TMI, but I have been getting up almost every night since I've started the stims to pee. I rarely have to do this, but this week it's been consistent. Perhaps my swollen ovaries are pushing on my bladder? I'm not sure.
The one thing I forgot to ask today but I'm sure it'll be fine until Sunday's retrieval is for the nurse to mark on my hips where we'll give the PIO shots. I want to make sure we're doing it in the right area. The nurse did give me some needles that I didn't receive with my pregnyl for the trigger and booster shots. They want those done IM, and the only long needles I have are 22 gauge. She gave me 27 gauge, 1 1/4", so that'll be easier to do.
While Hubby and I are very excited about the upcoming retrieval, it did cause us to cancel some plans we had for Sunday. He was to be present at the baby presentation at church for one of his employee's. I was supposed to be the greeter at church. But I'm totally okay with not doing this and doing the retrieval instead. I think God will forgive me.
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
It went well!
My appointment went well this morning, besides the fact that I was about 10 minutes late due to traffic and trying to give myself the shots before I left.
I had 7 visible follicles, ranging in size from .8 to 1.3. My lining was 7.9. I'll get my E2 level later this afternoon. The tech said it's possible I have more follies that will show up the further we go along.
I'm feeling good about this, but am waiting until I get the call this afternoon before I celebrate too much.
I had 7 visible follicles, ranging in size from .8 to 1.3. My lining was 7.9. I'll get my E2 level later this afternoon. The tech said it's possible I have more follies that will show up the further we go along.
I'm feeling good about this, but am waiting until I get the call this afternoon before I celebrate too much.
Monday, May 18, 2009
Clarification
I had previously posted that I wasn't cooking in the cook off because of the IVF cycle we're in, and I wasn't planning on it. However, since BIL won on Saturday, he had all the left over ingredients he had purchased to use for Sunday. Once you win, you no longer need to compete in that particular category. So I used his ingredients on Sunday, entered the salsa competition, and lightning struck twice! I have got to ask him where he buys his produce.
Hubby was sad that he didn't win on Sunday. Apparently he doesn't buy his produce at the same place either. lol
On a different note, I go into the doctor in the morning to see how I'm progressing. I've kind of feeling a few twinges, but who knows. I really hope that the DHEA and Saizen are doing their jobs. I didn't ask the nurse when she called what my E2 levels were, and I didn't even ask the tech how many antral follies there were. In fact, she didn't even measure the follies, just looked to see if there were cysts, which there weren't. Tomorrow I'll definitely have to ask.
Hubby was sad that he didn't win on Sunday. Apparently he doesn't buy his produce at the same place either. lol
On a different note, I go into the doctor in the morning to see how I'm progressing. I've kind of feeling a few twinges, but who knows. I really hope that the DHEA and Saizen are doing their jobs. I didn't ask the nurse when she called what my E2 levels were, and I didn't even ask the tech how many antral follies there were. In fact, she didn't even measure the follies, just looked to see if there were cysts, which there weren't. Tomorrow I'll definitely have to ask.
Friday, May 15, 2009
Day 2
I dragged my butt out of bed this morning at 5:09, so I could hit the road by 6:00. I managed to be on the interstate by about 6:10, so I hauled ass up to Denver for my appointment at 7:45. It never fails to amaze me that I always get there early, no matter how close I think I'm cutting it. I was there by 7:30. I figured that was good so I could be back on the road soon as I had my acupuncture appointment at 10:00.
I go in, get my blood drawn, go upstairs and sign in. The receptionist tells me I have a balance due of almost $7,500! WTF???? I say that this is news to me. I mistakenly thought that since I have insurance, that they would bill the insurance carrier as we go along, the insurance would do their thing, and then I'd get an EOB stating how much I owe. Um, no, that's not how it works.
After a bit of arguing and tears (damn those tears), I got them to agree to only charge me (at this time) what my insurance out of pocket maximum is, which is $3,000. Thank God I had my credit card with me. So, red eyed, streaked face, I go in for my ultra sound, not really looking forward to it.
It was a breeze! My left ovary has never behaved so well! The tech said it was hanging right there, clear as day. That was a welcome change. It normally hides behind my uterus and is painful to find. My lining is nice and thin, they way they want it on day 2. My ovaries are cyst free. So that is good.
Now I'm just waiting for the call back to make sure my blood work is acceptable and that we can get started. I sure hope so, because while I was there, I went ahead and had the nurse mix my Saizen. Heck, if I knew it was going to be that easy, I could have done it myself. She had told me that it had to be mixed into a separate vial, which the pharmacy hadn't provided. All she did was take out 5 ml of the water and dump it out, then mix a little with the powder, and put it back in. Assuming I need to order my second vial, I'll know what to do with that one.
I ended up about 10 minutes late to my acupuncture appointment. When I first laid down, it was nice to relax, but after she inserted the needles, there was no more relaxing. I just couldn't settle down. I tried not to think too much about the money issue, as I didn't want to get upset again. I couldn't really do any visualizing. So I just played a lot with the pillow and the head rest. When she came to take the needles out, she said that three of the four in my ear had reacted, meaning that they bled. She said that my adrenals really reacted. I asked what adrenals were, and she said something to the effect that they help us to get healthier. To be honest, I really didn't get it, even after she explained it. The only thing I could think was that maybe it was the stress of the morning that caused them to react.
Now I just wait. I'll be carrying my cell phone with me where ever I go in the office this afternoon. Don't want to miss the call.
I go in, get my blood drawn, go upstairs and sign in. The receptionist tells me I have a balance due of almost $7,500! WTF???? I say that this is news to me. I mistakenly thought that since I have insurance, that they would bill the insurance carrier as we go along, the insurance would do their thing, and then I'd get an EOB stating how much I owe. Um, no, that's not how it works.
After a bit of arguing and tears (damn those tears), I got them to agree to only charge me (at this time) what my insurance out of pocket maximum is, which is $3,000. Thank God I had my credit card with me. So, red eyed, streaked face, I go in for my ultra sound, not really looking forward to it.
It was a breeze! My left ovary has never behaved so well! The tech said it was hanging right there, clear as day. That was a welcome change. It normally hides behind my uterus and is painful to find. My lining is nice and thin, they way they want it on day 2. My ovaries are cyst free. So that is good.
Now I'm just waiting for the call back to make sure my blood work is acceptable and that we can get started. I sure hope so, because while I was there, I went ahead and had the nurse mix my Saizen. Heck, if I knew it was going to be that easy, I could have done it myself. She had told me that it had to be mixed into a separate vial, which the pharmacy hadn't provided. All she did was take out 5 ml of the water and dump it out, then mix a little with the powder, and put it back in. Assuming I need to order my second vial, I'll know what to do with that one.
I ended up about 10 minutes late to my acupuncture appointment. When I first laid down, it was nice to relax, but after she inserted the needles, there was no more relaxing. I just couldn't settle down. I tried not to think too much about the money issue, as I didn't want to get upset again. I couldn't really do any visualizing. So I just played a lot with the pillow and the head rest. When she came to take the needles out, she said that three of the four in my ear had reacted, meaning that they bled. She said that my adrenals really reacted. I asked what adrenals were, and she said something to the effect that they help us to get healthier. To be honest, I really didn't get it, even after she explained it. The only thing I could think was that maybe it was the stress of the morning that caused them to react.
Now I just wait. I'll be carrying my cell phone with me where ever I go in the office this afternoon. Don't want to miss the call.
Friday, February 27, 2009
Land of Limbo
There's nothing worse than being in limbo. You can't hurry up. You can't slow down. You just go at the same ol' pace, until you get to where you're going.
That's where I am now. It's not like I'm doing nothing, I am taking the DHEA. But it seems to be taking forever! Tomorrow will be 7 weeks that I've been on it. I wonder if my little eggies are feeling the effects of it yet.
It does seem like my face hasn't been quite as oily this last week or so as it has been the previous four weeks. I'm grateful for that.
I'm still waiting to get my consult with the peri. I've left a message this afternoon with the IVF nurses to see if the letter my doctor was going to dictate got sent out or not.
Limbo - isn't that also the name of the game where you go under the bar and try to get as low as possible? I wouldn't be able to go very low. My boobs would knock the bar off the little stands!
That's where I am now. It's not like I'm doing nothing, I am taking the DHEA. But it seems to be taking forever! Tomorrow will be 7 weeks that I've been on it. I wonder if my little eggies are feeling the effects of it yet.
It does seem like my face hasn't been quite as oily this last week or so as it has been the previous four weeks. I'm grateful for that.
I'm still waiting to get my consult with the peri. I've left a message this afternoon with the IVF nurses to see if the letter my doctor was going to dictate got sent out or not.
Limbo - isn't that also the name of the game where you go under the bar and try to get as low as possible? I wouldn't be able to go very low. My boobs would knock the bar off the little stands!
Monday, February 16, 2009
Follow up call
Today I got a phone call from C, one of the IVF nurses. She said that she had been looking over my file and that she was checking to see if I'd had my consult yet with the peri. I said that no, I was waiting for their office to contact them, so I could get in. The peri requires a referral from an RE.
She said that they didn't have the information about the peri, although I'd left a voice message with another IVF nurse, S. So Tuesday when I get into the office, I'll get that information faxed over to C so she can get that going. She'll also get the consult set up with the anesthesiologist, Dr. H.
Then we'll start trying to schedule some stuff, depending on my cycle, of course, which should be starting soon. Not that we'll be doing it this cycle, but it will be one cycle closer.
As others have advised, I must be my own advocate, and follow up with voice messages, faxes, etc., to make sure that they have what they need. I'd not like it one bit if an oversight made me miss something.
She said that they didn't have the information about the peri, although I'd left a voice message with another IVF nurse, S. So Tuesday when I get into the office, I'll get that information faxed over to C so she can get that going. She'll also get the consult set up with the anesthesiologist, Dr. H.
Then we'll start trying to schedule some stuff, depending on my cycle, of course, which should be starting soon. Not that we'll be doing it this cycle, but it will be one cycle closer.
As others have advised, I must be my own advocate, and follow up with voice messages, faxes, etc., to make sure that they have what they need. I'd not like it one bit if an oversight made me miss something.
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Regroup session
We may be trying IVF with my own eggs. I say may because of course, there are so many hurdles we must clear before we actually get to IVF that it isn't guaranteed.
Take away list of things to do:
1) Perinatal consult - Dr. S thinks that it would be a very good idea that before we proceed that I consult with a high risk OB (perinatologist) who would agree to be my doctor should I become pregnant. Due to my weight and the extra risks it involves (higher chances of diabetes, high blood pressure, toxemia, miscarriage, blood clotting, etc.) he thinks that it is very important that I have a peri set up before we even get to the point of getting pregnant.
2) Embryology consult - actually, this has been done regarding Hubby's SA. His numbers were good. We'll still use ICSI because of the fact that I have old eggs (diminished ovarian reserve (DOR) is the correct term) he thinks that using ICSI will prevent my egg shells from being too tough for the sperm to penetrate.
3) SHG - sonohistiogram (sp?) - to check on the fibroid that was discovered during my hysteroscope last year. Make sure that it hasn't moved or anything.
4) Trial embryo transfer - make sure his tools likes my cervix.
5) IVF nurses - contact them to set up drugs.
6) Counselling - not sure actually what this is supposed to entail. I don't think it's psychological counselling. I didn't even think to ask this question.
7) Business office - get with them to make sure they and I know what will and won't be covered by my insurance.
8) Acupuncture - he recommends it and will give me names. While I'd love to use my previous acupuncturist (he was a cutie!), I'm not that sure that he's that in tune with acu w/ IVF. I've read several other ladies' accounts of their acu sessions and mine were nothing like that.
9) Anesthesia consult - Again, because of my weight, he wants to make sure that he has someone who will be able to control the amount of meds I get to make sure that I'm not too uncomfortable during the egg retrieval. Apparently, they don't put you out all the way, you are semi-awake during it. I'm not too sure I like this. We'll see.
Of these nine things, the most important are #s 1, 5 and 9. I must find a peri who will treat me during the pregnancy. If not, we're kind of screwed. Of course, making sure that I don't feel the ER is important too. And of course, finding out what meds will be covered is necessary. I'm sure that all of them will be, with the possible exception of Saizen. So Heidi, I may be contacting you about your supply if you still have it and my insurance won't cover it.
In addition to all the above, he wants me to have some more blood work done, including a fasting glucose, fasting insulin and fasting lipid panel. This is to gauge my risk for these things going into the possible pregnancy.
What we will be doing is a convert to IVF. He'll be dosing me with the maximum drugs, and if I respond with the very minimum of four follicles at least 16 mm, then we will do IVF. If it looks like I have a follie or two, we may continue with the stims and do an IUI.
I am continuing with the DHEA for a minimum of eight weeks. I've been taking it about three weeks now, so only five more to go. It is quite possible that we could be looking at April as being our target date.
I won't be using Lupron this time. We'll wait until my follies reach 14 mm then start taking Ganirelix.
He of course said my best shot was with donor eggs, but understood we wanted one last attempt to do it with my own eggs. He did emphasize several times that he would not put my life in jeopardy, which both Hubby and I appreciate. We want kids, but I don't want to die trying.
We feel good about our meeting with him. I am very pleased that he is willing to give us this last chance. He isn't guaranteeing anything by any means, but he said he would definitely help us. Of course, that's all I want. If this doesn't work, then I will close this chapter and begin the next.
Take away list of things to do:
1) Perinatal consult - Dr. S thinks that it would be a very good idea that before we proceed that I consult with a high risk OB (perinatologist) who would agree to be my doctor should I become pregnant. Due to my weight and the extra risks it involves (higher chances of diabetes, high blood pressure, toxemia, miscarriage, blood clotting, etc.) he thinks that it is very important that I have a peri set up before we even get to the point of getting pregnant.
2) Embryology consult - actually, this has been done regarding Hubby's SA. His numbers were good. We'll still use ICSI because of the fact that I have old eggs (diminished ovarian reserve (DOR) is the correct term) he thinks that using ICSI will prevent my egg shells from being too tough for the sperm to penetrate.
3) SHG - sonohistiogram (sp?) - to check on the fibroid that was discovered during my hysteroscope last year. Make sure that it hasn't moved or anything.
4) Trial embryo transfer - make sure his tools likes my cervix.
5) IVF nurses - contact them to set up drugs.
6) Counselling - not sure actually what this is supposed to entail. I don't think it's psychological counselling. I didn't even think to ask this question.
7) Business office - get with them to make sure they and I know what will and won't be covered by my insurance.
8) Acupuncture - he recommends it and will give me names. While I'd love to use my previous acupuncturist (he was a cutie!), I'm not that sure that he's that in tune with acu w/ IVF. I've read several other ladies' accounts of their acu sessions and mine were nothing like that.
9) Anesthesia consult - Again, because of my weight, he wants to make sure that he has someone who will be able to control the amount of meds I get to make sure that I'm not too uncomfortable during the egg retrieval. Apparently, they don't put you out all the way, you are semi-awake during it. I'm not too sure I like this. We'll see.
Of these nine things, the most important are #s 1, 5 and 9. I must find a peri who will treat me during the pregnancy. If not, we're kind of screwed. Of course, making sure that I don't feel the ER is important too. And of course, finding out what meds will be covered is necessary. I'm sure that all of them will be, with the possible exception of Saizen. So Heidi, I may be contacting you about your supply if you still have it and my insurance won't cover it.
In addition to all the above, he wants me to have some more blood work done, including a fasting glucose, fasting insulin and fasting lipid panel. This is to gauge my risk for these things going into the possible pregnancy.
What we will be doing is a convert to IVF. He'll be dosing me with the maximum drugs, and if I respond with the very minimum of four follicles at least 16 mm, then we will do IVF. If it looks like I have a follie or two, we may continue with the stims and do an IUI.
I am continuing with the DHEA for a minimum of eight weeks. I've been taking it about three weeks now, so only five more to go. It is quite possible that we could be looking at April as being our target date.
I won't be using Lupron this time. We'll wait until my follies reach 14 mm then start taking Ganirelix.
He of course said my best shot was with donor eggs, but understood we wanted one last attempt to do it with my own eggs. He did emphasize several times that he would not put my life in jeopardy, which both Hubby and I appreciate. We want kids, but I don't want to die trying.
We feel good about our meeting with him. I am very pleased that he is willing to give us this last chance. He isn't guaranteeing anything by any means, but he said he would definitely help us. Of course, that's all I want. If this doesn't work, then I will close this chapter and begin the next.
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Wow, blood results already!
I got the call with my blood results today before I even got back into town. That was fast!
FSH 5
LH 3
E2 74
So the FSH looks good, not sure about the LH, but the E2 while under 80, is still lots higher than 40, the ideal number. The AMH results won't be in for 10 days.
Hubby went in alone for his SA while I had my blood work done. That was a mistake. Unfortunately, he got a cramp in his side right as the goods were being produced which prevented him from getting all the sample in the cup. I'm hoping they have enough to test. If not, he may have to repeat it. Next time I'll be there to catch it! :-)
Oh, and a NP did my ultrasound, rather than the doctor. She didn't indicate how many antral follies were there. As usual, my left ovary was hiding behind my uterus, and while it was very uncomfortable, I got through it.
I'm good to go to start the clomid on Friday.
Regroup is set for February 3.
FSH 5
LH 3
E2 74
So the FSH looks good, not sure about the LH, but the E2 while under 80, is still lots higher than 40, the ideal number. The AMH results won't be in for 10 days.
Hubby went in alone for his SA while I had my blood work done. That was a mistake. Unfortunately, he got a cramp in his side right as the goods were being produced which prevented him from getting all the sample in the cup. I'm hoping they have enough to test. If not, he may have to repeat it. Next time I'll be there to catch it! :-)
Oh, and a NP did my ultrasound, rather than the doctor. She didn't indicate how many antral follies were there. As usual, my left ovary was hiding behind my uterus, and while it was very uncomfortable, I got through it.
I'm good to go to start the clomid on Friday.
Regroup is set for February 3.
CD 3
Today I go in for CD 3 blood work and my AMH test (ovarian reserve test). I'll also have an ultrasound for base antral follicle count. Friday I start the clomid challenge.
I am NOT looking forward to yet another man looking up my va-jay-jay. I am NOT looking forward to my left ovary hiding again (although my last RE thought that it might be scar tissue from an STI I had in college that is keeping my ovary pinned up high away from where it's supposed to be). Hubby is NOT looking forward to his SA, although who knows, maybe they have some really good po.rn.
Plus, my cold is horrible today! I have such bad sinus pressure going on on the left side of my face. I truly feel like my head is going to explode. The flem spewing from my lungs is oh so attractive. Joy.
I am NOT looking forward to yet another man looking up my va-jay-jay. I am NOT looking forward to my left ovary hiding again (although my last RE thought that it might be scar tissue from an STI I had in college that is keeping my ovary pinned up high away from where it's supposed to be). Hubby is NOT looking forward to his SA, although who knows, maybe they have some really good po.rn.
Plus, my cold is horrible today! I have such bad sinus pressure going on on the left side of my face. I truly feel like my head is going to explode. The flem spewing from my lungs is oh so attractive. Joy.
Monday, January 19, 2009
Weekend review
I live such an exciting life that I have to review my weekend with you. LOL Yeah, right.
Friday night, went to dinner with the in-laws. MIL had a cold, so I tried to steer clear from her. It didn't work. Woke up Saturday morning with sore throat and stuffed up nose. I didn't let it stop me from enjoying the sun, and went for a walk around the riverwalk. It was such a pretty day. I soaked up extra sun, just for you Dagny. ;-)
Sunday, despite ingesting a variety of cold medicines, was worse. I had to get a spackle just to get the gunk off and out of my nose. Had a fever. Had chills. But like a good wife, went to the store and got the makings for dinner as well as stuff for later this week to fix. I made white-girl chile rellanos.
I got to watch my Bahama-mama (as I like to call Troy Polumalu, #43 of the Pittsburgh Steelers) intercept the ball away from the Baltimore Ravens and score an awesome touchdown! I have his jersey, by the way.
Then, got ready for bed, and lo and behold, AF arrived. It was 10:45 pm by that time, so I think I'm safe to assume that today is CD 1. Which means I get to call for my CD 3 u/w & b/w & 10 b/w, then start the clomid on Friday. Joy.
Now, I'm at work and between my fever (was sweating like a pig) and the cramps (thanks Aunti), I feel like crap. Oh well, I'll just suck it up since I'll have to take this Wednesday and next Wednesday mornings off to get my blood work done up in Denver. Joy. I just love getting up early.
So, would you give my weekend five stars?
Friday night, went to dinner with the in-laws. MIL had a cold, so I tried to steer clear from her. It didn't work. Woke up Saturday morning with sore throat and stuffed up nose. I didn't let it stop me from enjoying the sun, and went for a walk around the riverwalk. It was such a pretty day. I soaked up extra sun, just for you Dagny. ;-)
Sunday, despite ingesting a variety of cold medicines, was worse. I had to get a spackle just to get the gunk off and out of my nose. Had a fever. Had chills. But like a good wife, went to the store and got the makings for dinner as well as stuff for later this week to fix. I made white-girl chile rellanos.
I got to watch my Bahama-mama (as I like to call Troy Polumalu, #43 of the Pittsburgh Steelers) intercept the ball away from the Baltimore Ravens and score an awesome touchdown! I have his jersey, by the way.
Then, got ready for bed, and lo and behold, AF arrived. It was 10:45 pm by that time, so I think I'm safe to assume that today is CD 1. Which means I get to call for my CD 3 u/w & b/w & 10 b/w, then start the clomid on Friday. Joy.
Now, I'm at work and between my fever (was sweating like a pig) and the cramps (thanks Aunti), I feel like crap. Oh well, I'll just suck it up since I'll have to take this Wednesday and next Wednesday mornings off to get my blood work done up in Denver. Joy. I just love getting up early.
So, would you give my weekend five stars?
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Additional details
I thought I'd post what the plan is if we are able to pass our tests and actually go down the IVF road with Dr. S.
As I mentioned last, I'll start taking the DHEA, probably on Monday or Tuesday, when it comes in. I will call on CD 1, go in for CD 3 blood work to test FSH, LH, E2, and AMH (ovarian reserve test).
I'll then take clo.mid 100 mg CD 5-9. Test FSH, E2 on CD 10. I'll also have another blood test 10 days after I start the DHEA to test my levels for that.
After we regroup, if, as I said above, we get the green light to proceed, here's the plan:
I did have to pay out of pocket for the DHEA, which considering, is nothing compared to what others pay. I'm not in the least bit complaining. My benefit summary did state that it doesn't reimburse for meds filled by non-participating pharmacies, which this one isn't. Oh well. I'll just make sure that all future meds are filled by my insurance company's specialty pharmacy.
Did I ever tell you how I came to have IF coverage? My employer was purchased a year and a half ago by a much larger insurance agency based out of Chicago, IL. Illinois has a state mandate for infertility. So when we moved over to their insurance, poof! I have IF coverage, which was perfect timing. My old insurance carrier would diagnose IF, but didn't provide any coverage to treat it. My coverage isn't a lot. I have up to 6 attempts at IVF, which may sound like a lot, but it's a $10,000 lifetime maximum benefit. I'm very fortunate that the blood work, ultrasounds, medications do not apply to the $10,000. Only actual retrieval, the ICSI, the fertilization and growing, then transfer are applied to that amount. So I figure I probably have about 1.5 - 2 IVF attempts worth of coverage.
Now that I've written a short novel, I'll go watch Desperate Housewives. I tried watching it Sunday night, but the digital signal for ABC was jacked up, and I was unable to sit through the jumping, skipping and still frames. I'm going to go online and watch it.
As I mentioned last, I'll start taking the DHEA, probably on Monday or Tuesday, when it comes in. I will call on CD 1, go in for CD 3 blood work to test FSH, LH, E2, and AMH (ovarian reserve test).
I'll then take clo.mid 100 mg CD 5-9. Test FSH, E2 on CD 10. I'll also have another blood test 10 days after I start the DHEA to test my levels for that.
After we regroup, if, as I said above, we get the green light to proceed, here's the plan:
- 300 units of Menop.ur (he uses this rather than Repr.onex as it is a pure rather than synthetic med)
- 300 units of Bra.velle (again, he prefers this over Fo.llistim as it comes from the real deal rather than fake stuff)
- Gani.relix (an antagonist) when my follies get to be about 14 mm
- Growth hormone (Sai.zen)
- Dexamet.rason (sp??) - actually not sure what this is for
- Optional acupuncture
- ICSI
It is somewhat ironic that all the meds he plans on using I have zero of. If you recall, I have left over Foll.istim and Re.pronex. I guess I will continue to save these for possible donor, however, since we may have to wait a year for that and the meds may expire before then, I will be donating the meds to a person in need (well, I'll ask that they reimburse me for my copayments, which is still CHEAP compared to what they could pay cash price).
I almost scared myself this afternoon as I went online to check my insurance benefits. I tried searching for some of the meds, and they weren't coming up, when they had before. However, I did go on our internal website and found our outline of benefits and it does say that IF treatment is still covered. Phew! I just need to figure out why it isn't pulling up the drugs. I'll have to contact customer service to see what's going on with the online system.I did have to pay out of pocket for the DHEA, which considering, is nothing compared to what others pay. I'm not in the least bit complaining. My benefit summary did state that it doesn't reimburse for meds filled by non-participating pharmacies, which this one isn't. Oh well. I'll just make sure that all future meds are filled by my insurance company's specialty pharmacy.
Did I ever tell you how I came to have IF coverage? My employer was purchased a year and a half ago by a much larger insurance agency based out of Chicago, IL. Illinois has a state mandate for infertility. So when we moved over to their insurance, poof! I have IF coverage, which was perfect timing. My old insurance carrier would diagnose IF, but didn't provide any coverage to treat it. My coverage isn't a lot. I have up to 6 attempts at IVF, which may sound like a lot, but it's a $10,000 lifetime maximum benefit. I'm very fortunate that the blood work, ultrasounds, medications do not apply to the $10,000. Only actual retrieval, the ICSI, the fertilization and growing, then transfer are applied to that amount. So I figure I probably have about 1.5 - 2 IVF attempts worth of coverage.
Now that I've written a short novel, I'll go watch Desperate Housewives. I tried watching it Sunday night, but the digital signal for ABC was jacked up, and I was unable to sit through the jumping, skipping and still frames. I'm going to go online and watch it.
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
Straight up, not shaken, not stirred
If I were expecting a sugar coated visit today, I would have been extremely disappointed. Thankfully, I wanted it straight up, and that's what I got.
Where to start?
For some reason or another, my file didn't contain my records from Dr. Slick's office, which was weird as when J had called yesterday to confirm the appointment she said that they had them. Dr. S had to go find them and once he had them, did a quick perusal of the information, taking notes as he went.
He revealed a piece of information that I was not aware of from my second cycle with ol' Slick. My FSH level was 16.8! WTF??? I was never told that my FSH had ever gone that high!
So with that bit of information, and the outline of my three different protocols that Slick followed, Dr. S laid it all out for us.
We're going to do quite a bit of testing that Slick never did, including a clomid challenge test, an antral follicle count (never once did I have this with my old RE), as well as the MHA, which basically is an ovarian reserve test that takes about 5 days to get the results in. As well as testing my FSH levels on day 3 & 10 (which now that I think of it, this is part of the clomid challenge {look forward to being on that drug again - NOT!}). Also, the medical records that were sent over didn't indicate all of Hubby's semen figures, so he has to repeat this.
Thankfully, he doesn't think we need to repeat the HSG or the hysteroscopy (thank God!), so that will save me some pain, but he does want to do a mock transfer to see how his tools will work with my body. (That sounds like it could be dirty, but get your mind out of the gutter!)
Also, he wants me to start on DHEA, which some studies have found to increase the number of follies produced in women with poor ovarian reserve. The drawbacks to this are that 1) it can take 8-12 weeks to see results, and 2) it can cause acne and oily skin. He said that if this happens, I can just toss the pills in the trash as he doesn't want me to have to be concerned about that. (Not sure why this would be a concern, I'll just go invest in some paint from Lowe's to match my skin tone ~ lol.)
Depending on how all the test results come back, and what he thinks my chances of producing at least 4 follicles (that is our bare minimum to proceed with an actual IVF cycle) are, then we'll go for it. If things look bad, then we'll pursue egg donor.
However, if that is the route that we take, he highly suggests that I take at least a year off and lose 100 pounds (possibly through bariatric surgery), so that I don't have a complicated pregnancy. He said that if I do get pregnant using my own eggs, then he'd just refer me to a perinatologist, as I'd be considered high risk (diabetes {though I don't have this currently}, high blood pressure {again, don't have this currently}, higher rate of miscarriage, possible ectopic, higher risk of downs, etc., etc., etc.).
So the plan is this: Go through all the tests he wants me to do, take the DHEA for 8-12 weeks, blood tests, clomid challenge, etc., regroup and decide at that time what we'll do.
I feel good with this plan. No, there are no guarantees that I'll be able to use my own eggs, but at least we'll be giving it our best shot. And if this doesn't work, well then, we'll have another plan to pursue next year.
Where to start?
For some reason or another, my file didn't contain my records from Dr. Slick's office, which was weird as when J had called yesterday to confirm the appointment she said that they had them. Dr. S had to go find them and once he had them, did a quick perusal of the information, taking notes as he went.
He revealed a piece of information that I was not aware of from my second cycle with ol' Slick. My FSH level was 16.8! WTF??? I was never told that my FSH had ever gone that high!
So with that bit of information, and the outline of my three different protocols that Slick followed, Dr. S laid it all out for us.
We're going to do quite a bit of testing that Slick never did, including a clomid challenge test, an antral follicle count (never once did I have this with my old RE), as well as the MHA, which basically is an ovarian reserve test that takes about 5 days to get the results in. As well as testing my FSH levels on day 3 & 10 (which now that I think of it, this is part of the clomid challenge {look forward to being on that drug again - NOT!}). Also, the medical records that were sent over didn't indicate all of Hubby's semen figures, so he has to repeat this.
Thankfully, he doesn't think we need to repeat the HSG or the hysteroscopy (thank God!), so that will save me some pain, but he does want to do a mock transfer to see how his tools will work with my body. (That sounds like it could be dirty, but get your mind out of the gutter!)
Also, he wants me to start on DHEA, which some studies have found to increase the number of follies produced in women with poor ovarian reserve. The drawbacks to this are that 1) it can take 8-12 weeks to see results, and 2) it can cause acne and oily skin. He said that if this happens, I can just toss the pills in the trash as he doesn't want me to have to be concerned about that. (Not sure why this would be a concern, I'll just go invest in some paint from Lowe's to match my skin tone ~ lol.)
Depending on how all the test results come back, and what he thinks my chances of producing at least 4 follicles (that is our bare minimum to proceed with an actual IVF cycle) are, then we'll go for it. If things look bad, then we'll pursue egg donor.
However, if that is the route that we take, he highly suggests that I take at least a year off and lose 100 pounds (possibly through bariatric surgery), so that I don't have a complicated pregnancy. He said that if I do get pregnant using my own eggs, then he'd just refer me to a perinatologist, as I'd be considered high risk (diabetes {though I don't have this currently}, high blood pressure {again, don't have this currently}, higher rate of miscarriage, possible ectopic, higher risk of downs, etc., etc., etc.).
So the plan is this: Go through all the tests he wants me to do, take the DHEA for 8-12 weeks, blood tests, clomid challenge, etc., regroup and decide at that time what we'll do.
I feel good with this plan. No, there are no guarantees that I'll be able to use my own eggs, but at least we'll be giving it our best shot. And if this doesn't work, well then, we'll have another plan to pursue next year.
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