3dp3dt - :0)

Heh, that's the first time I've ever gotten to say that! Well, except for when Nancy and I were texting this morning. Just how cool is that? Three days past three day transfer.

Hubby has been cute. Making sure that I don't over-extend myself. He wasn't too sure that I should go out to lunch yesterday as he didn't want me going up and down the stairs, but I took them slow and easy. It was good to get out, as I was getting a bit stir crazy. Today he asked me to change my shorts, as he thought the ones I was wearing were too tight, even though they weren't.

We were watching the original "Breakfast at Tiffany's" this afternoon and he thought we should name our daughter after the main character. No, not "Holly" but "LuluMay." Ugh, I don't think so!

Yesterday it was so weird, with the nausea, I mean. I felt like that all day, even before I gave myself the booster shot. I think I was just reacting to the PIO, and maybe even the hcg. Who knows?

Tomorrow I'll be going to church. It's the last day of bed rest, but I'll be sure to take it easy. We're having a going away pot luck lunch for a couple in the church who is moving to Denver. I don't want to miss wishing them well.

I've been debating whether to put up a picture of the embryos or not. I feel like I want to keep them to myself right now. We've shown our mothers and one of my friends, but that's about it. I just want to hold them tight for now, if that makes any sense. Plus, we don't have a scanner so I'd have to take a photo of them and post that, so the quality wouldn't be that great.

Hubby and I have been talking about when, and if, we'll test. Our betas aren't until 6/8 & 6/10. I'm having the tests done here in town, but the doc won't get the hormone results (P4 & E2) until the day after, but he'll get the hcg result the same day. Their policy is not to call with the results until after the 2nd test, to see the the beta is properly increasing. So maybe I'll test then, who knows? I've got plenty of time between now and then to change my mind a million times.

Wow, blood results already!

I got the call with my blood results today before I even got back into town. That was fast!

FSH 5
LH 3
E2 74

So the FSH looks good, not sure about the LH, but the E2 while under 80, is still lots higher than 40, the ideal number. The AMH results won't be in for 10 days.

Hubby went in alone for his SA while I had my blood work done. That was a mistake. Unfortunately, he got a cramp in his side right as the goods were being produced which prevented him from getting all the sample in the cup. I'm hoping they have enough to test. If not, he may have to repeat it. Next time I'll be there to catch it! :-)

Oh, and a NP did my ultrasound, rather than the doctor. She didn't indicate how many antral follies were there. As usual, my left ovary was hiding behind my uterus, and while it was very uncomfortable, I got through it.

I'm good to go to start the clomid on Friday.

Regroup is set for February 3.

Didn't even get to Stim Day 4

Son of a @#_#$(*^!&)$%#!$^&()@#_((~@#^.

Guess who called me this afternoon? No, not Nurse Betty. Not even Battle Axe. Can ya guess, huh? Huh? Well, can ya?

Dr. Slick himself.

My E2 levels are even lower today than they were on Monday, my base line test. Monday they were 36. Today they are 28. I asked if being on my period would effect my estrogen and he says absolutely not.

Apparently, I have a bad ovarian reserve problem. I asked about why my FSH numbers have always looked so good. I asked if I were to lose 100 pounds if that would make a difference. He said no, losing weight would not impact my ovarian reserve. He said that my weight could artificially make my FSH numbers look good.

He said that we could cancel today, wait for me to get my period and then do the ovarian reserve index test that cost $350. But he said that we've already done two tests, the two previous stim cycles.

He also said that we could, if I wanted to, up my evening shot of Repronex to 3 vials from the 2 I'm currently injecting, and come in on Saturday and see how my levels look. I'm choosing to do this. I'm not going to be cancelled after two effing days of drugs. Damn it, body, freaking respond already!

I asked him if my numbers still don't look good on Saturday, do we still have options, such as donor egg or donor embryos, and he said yes! So, Hubby is going to have to come in with me on Saturday so that we can discuss our options.

Grrrrrrrrrr.

Let the analyzing begin

Now that I have done a day and a half worth of stims, I'm starting to analyze every twinge, pain, cramp and flutter I'm feeling in my nether regions. The first day of my first cycle I thought I was feeling things, but we know now that that wasn't the case. I'm really hoping that this time it is different.

I just felt a pain in my right side near my waist. That's too high to be my ovaries, right? See what I mean?

Yesterday I was pretty gassy, thankfully no odor along with it - lol - but could that have caused some of the twinges I was feeling?

I won't know until Friday how my ovaries are responding this time. I'm at the maximum dosage of Follistim - 375 IU a day, and two vials of Repronex. I began the Lupron the day before the stims and was not on any BCPs. Surely I'll respond this time, right? If not, am I going to be told that I'm too fat and to really have any chance at all to get pregnant I'll need to lose some significant weight?

I've said this before, the two week wait after ovulation is crazy, but I think this waiting, to see if my body even responds, is even worse. If it doesn't respond, I don't even get the privilege of a 2WW. I get nothing.

Please God, let me respond this time. Let my ovaries take that medicine in and start developing those follicles. I want nice big E2 numbers on Friday. I'm thinking 200 - 300 would be great!

Since I'll be gone this weekend, I won't be able to post my results until Sunday night or Monday.

Mini-meltdown at the RE’s

This morning I had my appointment at the RE’s to check to see if my estrogen level is low enough to start.

Nurse Betty came and took me back to the room. As I sat on the examining table, she said that I looked scared, which made me begin to tear up. I said I was concerned about the narrow window to do the transfer. Then Dr. Slick (I consider him to be the salesman of the center) comes in to do my ultrasound. Dr. Opie has always done my ultrasounds, so that freaks me out just a bit (the fewer who see my cookie the better!).

So I lay back, he sticks the lovewand up inside, and says the lining looks great. It’s at about six (I think that is what he said), which was down from the 15 on Friday. Then he takes a look at the right ovary, nice and quiet, then the left ovary - OWWWWWWWW! Dang that left ovary and it’s hiding. But it is quiet too. Dr. Slick apologized for it hurting me.

I sit up, we get to talking. He asks if I have any questions. I ask if he realistically thinks we’ll be a go this time. He says he sees no reason not to be. Nurse Betty then reminds him that I was cancelled last time. I asked about the window, and I get all teary again. He’s like it’s okay to cry to get the anxiety all out. He said that if I’m okay with a five day transfer than I should be okay with a two day transfer, or three day or four day. There really aren’t any restrictions on that and so we should be able to make the window for the transfer with no problem. Which is reassuring, assuming that I respond this time to the meds.

I rescheduled tomorrow’s lab only appointment for Wednesday, and my Thursday appointment is now on Friday. I’m supposed to be in Snowmass on Friday. This means that Hubby will have to go up on Thursday, and I can either come up Friday after the appointment, or just stay home. It doesn’t seem financially feasible for both of us to take our cars on a five to six hour trip, one way. Also, I’ll either have to figure out how to give myself the repronex shot or find someone else to do it.

Hubby and I will have to talk when I go home for lunch today. We have got to figure out what we’re going to do. Personally I want him to go to the cook off, even if I can’t. But with gas at over $4.00 a gallon now, that’s quite the additional expense we weren’t counting on.

Oh, and I forgot to mention that I told the doctor and nurse that I always get the call with the bad news from Battle Axe and the good news comes from Nurse Betty. They laughed and said they’d have to change that up. Me and my big mouth, now I’m not going to know what to expect when I first hear the nurse’s voice.

On a side note that I just thought of, I wonder what the doctors think when they are doing an ultrasound on a woman who is menstruating. Are they thinking that they earned their “red wings” a long time ago and don’t need this crap?

E2=34

I went in this morning for my u/s, b/w and mock transfer. Hubby also gave his sample for freezing. I helped him with it, so we got every last and first drop! He said it was more than he normally gets, which I thought odd as I didn’t think it was very much. But honestly, how does a guy who is in the throes of orgasm have enough sense about him to make sure he is pointing his penis in the cup???

After my b/w, I went back for the u/s. The doctor couldn’t see my ovaries very well, so I said well why don’t we do the mock transfer, then I’ll go pee, and we can do the u/s again. So that’s what we did. I’ve got four follies on each side. My estrogen level from Wednesday was only 34, thus the reason they upped my Follistim dosage to 375 IU.

The doc said that if my blood work today doesn’t come back with higher E2 levels, we might have to stop stims this month and try again next month. I really, really hope that my ovaries start to respond. I don’t feel like I am under any time constraints, but I would just very much love to be able to do it this month and the transfer in May. So I’ve got some knee time to do with God.

I’ve been reading some posts over on WebMD and there are ladies who are at about the same days in stims that I am and they are talking about how bloated they feel. I really don’t feel anything. The first day I did but now that I think about it, it was probably cramps due to my period.

I know that the two week wait can be nuts, but I think this wait is worse. Will I respond, will I not respond? Are these medications doing their job? Am I too fat so therefore my body won’t respond? I’m sitting here at my work desk looking at the box of Follistim that came in this morning and I am wondering if I am just wasting my time with it or not.

Damn it!