After my last PIO shot on Wednesday, the nurse said it would take a few days for AF to show up. I thought she did yesterday, but that was just a tease. Today she reared her ugly head and made the pain of the BFN physical, not just mental.
Despite having taken 3 extra strength Tyl.enol and 3 ibuprofens, the cramps are horrid. I'm assuming I have a great lining that needs shedding, therefore the cramps to rid my uterus of that wasted lining.
I cried again pretty good today, this time at church. Hubby stood up during prayer requests, to not only give an update, but to ask for continued prayer. The tears started flowing then, but then the pastor had everyone come around me during the prayer to pray for us, and one lady got me in a bear hug, and I just lost it and started sobbing. I know that all of this falls under God's will, but it doesn't make it any easier to bear. The questions are there. Are we not good enough? What have we done wrong? Are we being punished? Tested? Or is it just not the right time yet? All these questions and no answers.
Dr. S called me yesterday morning to express his dismay that the cycle didn't work and to ask if we have thought of what we might like to do next. I ran something by him that we have been thinking about, but it really isn't a feasible solution. Of course, I told him that money was an issue. Even though our insurance covers up to six IVF attempts, it has a lifetime maximum benefit of $10,000, and we only have around $1,100 left. He was a bit dismayed about that, considering $10,000 really doesn't go very far.
So at this point in time, we are still just trying to grieve the failure of this cycle. We really aren't in a position to talk next step, not yet anyway. Until then, we are just coasting.
