So, AF should be here any time now. Last night, I thought she showed up. However, it seems like it was just enough to be noticed on the TP, as today there is nothing.
I don't normally spot first with AF, it's boom, she's here. Then after a couple of days, it dwindles to spotting. This is my second period while I've been on DHEA, and I'm wondering if maybe the DHEA is effecting my period? Or is it something else?
It can't be implantation spotting, could it? It'd be way too late. Even if it were late implantation, this would still be way late.
See what I mean? My mind wants to believe this crap. Or maybe it's my heart. Actually, it probably is my heart, cause I know in my head that this has to be AF, she's just teasing me (torturing me). Stupid AF. Stupid clomid. Stupid heart. Stupid DHEA.
Damn this emotional roller coaster. Last night I blew up (well, self-imploded, really) because I didn't get anything for Valentine's Day. I said something about it and Hubby responded, but he thinks it's okay in his head. However, to me, it's like a slap in the face. I made him a homemade Valentine's coupon book with a few lovey dovey coupons, and the other ones were like "F-bomb free day" or "grumpy free day" coupons. Plus I gave him a couple of little boxes of chocolate, one was a bear holding a baseball saying "You're a good catch" and the other was a fish saying "You're a keeper." Nothing extravagant, nothing expensive, but from the heart. What did I get? Sex, but only after I initiated it. He thinks that that was enough. Whatever. I'm sure I'll hear about it as he reads this, but good. He needs to know how I feel, as I don't do a very good job of verbalizing it. I didn't want jewelry, or expensive roses. But even just a little bouquet, or a card. Instead, he bought yellow roses from a corner street vendor and gave them to the f'ing hoochie mamas that work for him. Oh, I'm about to explode again. I've got to get back to work.
