Snippy

Hubby asked me last night to back off on my snippiness. It seems I've been especially snippy to the people from our old church. I guess I have been. It was a combination of things, really. The fact that our church failed and we had to rely upon a new church to get us through. The new church was bigger and better and jazzier than our church. And it had lots of young fertile people in it, clearly shown by the bumps present and the infants in attendance. Yes, I am a bit snippy with them. I will try to do better.

I've also found myself holding back from being snippy (for the most part) on the message board I frequent. There are so many newbies there it isn't even funny. And I'm not talking about people who are about ready to do IVF or even IUI. I'm talking those who should be hanging out on the Clomid board or even in the TTC 6 or 12 months boards. OPKs? Who cares, the wand tells me what my ovaries are doing. BBT? Sh*t, I gave that thermometer up last year in exchange for better sleep. A BFP announcement when you've hardly been there at all, get lost! Today I almost posted something that I know the moderators would have pulled. Heck, I'm sure I would have gotten a tongue lashing from several of the posters there.

I told Nikki the other day that I feel that I no longer belong on that board, that since I'm technically not being treated at the time, I don't have a reason for being there. Perhaps I should take a break from that board, at least until we decide what we're doing. It seems I just get pissed off when I see the BFP announcements or the people who are making it to their egg retrievals or embryo transfers. I think to myself that that should be me! Jealous? Hell yes! Who wouldn't be? Yeah, I know, there are saints out there among the bloggers, but I'm no saint!

So I'm trying. Trying to be less snippy. Trying to hold my tongue (or in the case of the boards, my fingers), so I don't burn a bridge or hurt someone's feelings because I'm feeling particularly vindictive.

Yesterday I was reading a blog that is dedicated to anonymous gripes and came across a post that dealt with degrees of infertility and suffering, I guess is one way of saying it. Who gets to decide how much a person goes through before being considered infertile? The length of time you've been TTC? How many procedures you've undergone? How many surgeries you've had? Which was kind of irritating because you could say someone like me who has been trying with medical intervention for a year has no right to bitch about what I'm going through if you compare me to someone who has had five surgeries, several IVFs, FETs, IUIs, etc. Sure, if you've only been trying for three months, go away. You just barely got off the pill? Don't even talk about it. I just thought it was interesting and very subjective, and was thinking to myself who are the judges?

Gee, I didn't realize that this post was going to turn into such a vent. I guess it's better that I vent here and get my frustrations out, then to actually say something to someone or type something in a message board and hurt feelings, when that is so not my intent.

Thanks for listening, Doctor Readers, and my copay is in the mail!